Today, Freya has been earthside for as long as she was ever growing inside of me.
It already feels like a distant past that she was this heavy, warm and slippery thing I pulled to lay on top of my chest and we were suddenly catapulted into the deep terror of sleep deprived parenthood.
Now most of this feels easy and comfortable, but she definitely isn’t a tiny baby anymore. In the last two weeks alone our little miss Sunshine has acquired two teeth, learned to crawl, and now pulls herself up and ‘cruises’. It won’t be too long anymore before she can walk!
It’s odd, but that sudden transition into independent movement – she’s everywhere now, attempting to grab a fistful of cat food, eagerly plucking the flowers off my orchids, or trying to stick her wet little fingers into power outlets – has cemented the idea that she’s her own person. We don’t have a baby anymore, this is a little human, a toddler, a child. One that loudly voices her opinions, who’s impatient and at times rather violent, but also kind and good-humoured.
Freya loves being held upside down by her ankles. Or thrown over our shoulders like a bag of potatoes. Or squeezed between the two of us in a tight hug. She can’t keep from giggling when we pretend to slowly chase her, and she shrieks with laughter when we eventually catch her. She’s entirely fearless when it comes to anything physical, but still scared of most people and – inexplicably – of one of our vacuum cleaners but not the other.
She is strong, lively, and infused with the confidence that she is our whole world (and she is). She is so, so loved. I whisper it into her ear like a secret, I sing it to her, I tell it to her in a thousand actions all day long. I deeply hope she will grow up with that knowledge securely in her bones, behind every word and every step. She is loved. She is loved.
It was worth every one of those 42 weeks and a day to grow her, and every petrifying second of those first weeks where I then had to grow myself into a mum. Having her has changed my body, my mind, and my soul, and she will continue to challenge all of me for the rest of my life I’m sure! I look forward to it. To all the weeks and years and milestones to come <3