Most posts here will be made by my amazing partner, Nele, but every now and again I’ll pop up to share my perspective on things. I’m Jo and I’m the other half of Meemamas.
I’m really a quite laid back, go-with-the-flow type of person. So while I was daydreaming about our future and making a family in terms of ‘wouldn’t it be nice if that happens someday’, I hadn’t thought any further. And then we were in Portugal and Spain, celebrating my 32nd birthday in the height of summer with days full of blue skies and sunshine, and it happened…
Turns out that while I was daydreaming, Nele was busy making plans.
Plans that she decided to announce to me by saying “After I have my degree, I plan on having a baby.”
I was shocked and upset hearing that. Not by the surprise announcement or the relatively short timeline, but because the way she said it implied that it was something she was going to do alone. It sounded as if she didn’t care if I was a part of it. Thankfully that wasn’t the case and you can read Nele’s thoughts about it over in her first blog post.
While I wish the opening had been a bit softer I completely understand why she felt the need to lay her cards on the table about the baby thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if at some point I told her I definitely never wanted children… probably at the same time I told her that I was definitely straight! What can I say, past!me wasn’t the most in touch with herself.
I don’t really remember much about how I reacted to the bombshell. I know I went away and thought about it a lot and then gathered my courage to ask Nele to tell me more.
One thing that it did do for me was hammer home just how much I wanted to have a family with her. We make an amazing team and I think (hope!) that will carry over into parenthood. I’m also glad that she brought it up as early as she did because as it turns out making a baby when you’re in a queer relationship – plus the added challenge of being from different countries – is not easy.
That’s why I suggested Nele start this blog so that she could share her extensive research with others because this information can be hard to find. I hope it will be a useful resource and a fun way to document this wild ride towards making our family!