Progesterone makes me feel angry.
I always assumed if I would have any mood swings at all during this process, it would be the kind where I am tearing up over a picture of a kitten one minute, and desperately stuffing my face with ice cream the next. I thought it would be messy emotion-wise, but generally harmless; all soppy stories and The Feels, maybe being a bit snappish when I can’t have as much coffee as I’d like or when I hate how bloated I look.
Instead, I feel like I want to commit murder.
I am self-aware enough not to actually do anything too horrible, but the rage is fierce this cycle. I am on ten items of medication a day, that alone requires a lot of planning and keeping track of each moment, I have zero shits left to give about anything else!
Poor Jo has attempted to hug me more than once only to hear an absolute ‘NO’. I despise this latest addition in medication and can’t help but be vocal about it. This all SUCKS! * waves a fist *
But is it at least worth it?
I’m back in London, in the same little office, getting yet another scan. I know what the consultant is looking for, so I look along on the sonogram screen and actually announce it before she does (oops) – a triple layer endometrium! I have a lining of more than 8mm, which means I have responded really well to the medication, and that gives us a transfer date.
Just days from now, they are going to defrost one of our embryos, and put it back. This is it! All systems are a go, all hormones as well, this is not a drill, we are going in for an embryo transfer in less than 48 hours!
Aaaaaaah – fingers crossed!!! * g *