Sperm banks can mail their wares in the post to almost anywhere in the world.

After our stressful hospital audition we’re ready to think outside the box here, so an option we had dismissed before is suddenly looking appealing again.

Why not just do it at home?


Officially, according to Danish law (changed on July 1st 2018) a Danish sperm clinic can no longer ship to a home address, which is why we initially assumed that this wasn’t an option anymore. But it seems like several sperm banks have come up with a way around this:

Cryos sperm bank has relocated some of their offices to somewhere else in Europe and ships from there now, no questions asked.

Sellmerdiers sperm bank requires you get a medical professional to fill in some forms, but then you’re all clear doing it at home. Note that the definition of ‘medical professional’ is hilariously flexible – technically I could ask my dentist!

Interestingly for us, both say that they are willing to ship us sperm from an open donor, even though that is technically against the law in Belgium(!)

It seems like an odd option, but also pretty appealing. Like this, we could actually choose the donor ourselves. And our child would be allowed to find out who it was, which is what we want.

The downsides of doing this are that it would be costly. Sperm samples are highly expensive, and we’d need two per try. Plus there’s shipping to be paid every single time, and considering the sperm is sent internationally in some type of cryo space-age container that isn’t cheap either.

It would be stressful as well, because there’s only a short window of time each month where I would be able to get pregnant, so we would need to predict that perfectly and then order the sperm to get here right on time. And one of us would have to be home all day waiting for it, which would be a really nerve-wracking day, I’m sure. Talk about waiting for an important package!

But it is pretty straightforward too. There is no policing of who we are and why we want a child. No questions about the male influence in our lives. No forced therapy sessions. No huge down payments either, we could just order once and see how we like it.

All of these are huge positives. And I have to admit, it IS a really brilliant solution to an outdated donor law.

Viva la postal revolution!



4 replies
  1. Debby
    Debby says:

    Hello there ladies,
    well, that’s a heavy road you’re taking, wow! Wishing you the best.
    I have known two couples in kind of the same situation as yours: one went the ‘official’ way (read: you feel like have a subscription at the clinic) and each women gave birth to a child with like a year in between the two, the other ones decided to have ‘fathers’, a gay couple with the same wish sharing child care but having busy schedules ’cause all family members, especially grandparents, want(ed) to visit a lot of times. They dealt wih things on their own and became pregnant soon.

    • Nele
      Nele says:

      Hi! There seem to be as many options as there are couples. I’m sure they all had some big stories of their own before they got to where they are :) It’s all about deciding what’s important and what feels right, but it can be very hard to figure out sometimes! We’ll get there. Thanks for reading!

  2. M.
    M. says:

    Continuing to read with interest and enjoy your discussion!

    Is it mail-order sperm that’s illegal in Belgium (i.e., insemination needs to be done in a clinic)? Am I understanding that correctly?

    Those all seem like big positives for you!

    • Nele
      Nele says:

      Hi, no, using an open donor is illegal in Belgium! Sorry that was unclear :) As to using mail-order sperm, there is no real regulation about it. That’s why it’s a loophole, and the only way to get around the law – besides travelling to another country of course. Glad you’re enjoying our blog still! <3


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