“Wow, you look huge!” “Well, you’ve packed on weight!” “Every time I see you you’ve gained some more!”
….Suddenly some people have started to comment loudly, extensively, and continuously on my body. Even after I say that I don’t appreciate it. Even after I politely ask them to please stop it with the comments. I’ve had them continue on to argue with me, “No but it’s true, you’ve really gained weight, I can see it!”
*look of evil* Of course you can bloody see it, there’s an entire human being growing inside of me!
Most of the time I enjoy my newly watermelon-sized belly. It’s weird but in a hilarious sort of way. I do look somewhat ridiculous naked, as if I’m about to topple over. But then… comments like that make me feel so insecure. Do I look that bad? It’s the way it’s said as well, so gleeful, the more I argue and squirm about it, the more they want to tell me exactly how massive I am.
Another classic is the stories. “My cousin/friend/acquaintance didn’t have a belly at all/didn’t gain any weight/was still able to button up their jeans at nine months.” Well… nice for them I guess? I never know what to say to that. Thank you for telling me this fascinating fact?
The thing is though, weight gain in pregnancy is normal. It’s expected. You HAVE to gain weight.
I actually lost a lot of weight in the first trimester. Every time I weighed myself the numbers went lower and lower, to the lowest weight I have been as an adult. I discovered the shapes of bones under my skin I didn’t even know I had. And it was scary! Knowing I was pregnant, that there was this little thing inside of me desperately needing all kinds of nutrients that I wasn’t able to provide for felt horrible, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
I was deeply grateful when I was able to eat normally again. In my second trimester I gained back all the weight I had lost, and then more. The scale is climbing steadily every week now and that’s exactly what it is meant to do. My body is doing the hardest job it is ever going to do and it needs the nutrients for it. it’s not only growing a baby, but also a placenta, amniotic fluid, my blood supply has gone up by 50%, and then there are some boobs as well. None of those bits are negotiable.
So if we’re talking about that cousin/friend/acquaintance, I feel bad for them. Were they ill all through pregnancy? Because no weight gain means that in fact they lost an enormous amount of fat and probably muscle, and that that was replaced by the weight of the baby and related bits.
So no, I’m fine with my glorious bump. And I’m fine with all the weight that’s undoubtedly still coming, too.
But to the people making those remarks? For fucks sake, pregnancy is not a blanket permission for body shaming. Please take a second to think of how you sound, and if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all! Really, the world won’t end because you didn’t get to comment on how fat I look, I promise.
Also, if it happens ONE MORE TIME I might resort to actual physical violence, just so you’re all warned. *pregnant lady grumble*